In my 20s, I could contour my face like a Kardashian (scary but true.) Back then, a “glow-up” meant something you could capture in a photo—flawless skin, a sculpted jawline, a perfectly edited version of myself I hoped would signal I had it all together. But no matter how good I looked on the outside, my inner world felt chaotic, disconnected, and easily overwhelmed. I was chasing a highlight reel, not healing. It’s taken me years—and a lot of unlearning—to realize that the glow-up I truly needed was never external. What I craved was a mental glow-up: the slow, often invisible transformation toward calm, clarity, and grounded presence.
The shift didn’t happen overnight. It began slowly—through quieter mornings, gentler thoughts, and a growing desire to feel safe in my own body. Along the way, I discovered Mimi Bouchard’s Activations app, a blend of neuroscience, visualization, and subconscious reprogramming that gave language to the transformation I was already sensing. For the first time, self-improvement didn’t feel like another project to optimize. It felt like coming home to myself. This version of a glow-up doesn’t require a before-and-after photo. It’s quiet. Internal. And it’s changed everything.
The Myth of the Before-and-After
We live in a culture that loves a good before-and-after. Transformation, when it’s visible, becomes a kind of social currency—proof that we’ve changed, improved, and become more worthy of attention. Think: side-by-side selfies, “that girl” routines, 75 Hard. The aesthetic is polished and aspirational, but the message underneath can be quietly corrosive: that our value lies in how well we present the final product—not in the often messy, nonlinear process of becoming.
The most profound shifts I’ve made don’t show up in a selfie. They’re internal. Invisible. And they’ve unfolded so gradually, I sometimes don’t notice them until I realize I’ve reacted differently to something that once would have sent me spiraling. Healing, I’ve learned, isn’t a straight line. It’s cyclical, slow, and deeply personal.
The glow-up I want now isn’t about reinvention. It’s about returning—to softness, to safety, to the version of me that doesn’t need to perform to feel whole.
What a Mental Glow Up Really Looks Like
A mental glow up doesn’t ask for a new wardrobe, a 5 a.m. routine, or a perfect morning smoothie. Instead, it invites you to slow down and reorient your life from the inside out. It’s the kind of transformation that doesn’t show up in the mirror—but you feel it in your relationships, your nervous system, and the way you speak to yourself.
Below are the three shifts that have redefined self-improvement for me. Each has taught me that becoming isn’t about doing more. It’s about being more present.
1. Nervous System Regulation Over Hustle Culture
I used to believe that productivity was the same thing as progress. If I wasn’t moving, achieving, or optimizing, I felt behind. But the more I pushed, the more disconnected I felt from my body, my needs, and any real sense of peace. One of the most life-changing parts of my mental glow-up has been learning how to regulate my nervous system. When I’m grounded, I make clearer decisions. I feel safe to rest, and I no longer confuse urgency with importance.
Through Activations, I’ve discovered simple but powerful practices—visualizations, future self meditations (my favorite), and daily affirmations—that have helped me create safety within myself. I start my mornings not by reaching for coffee, but by reaching for coherence. Because when your nervous system is regulated, everything else flows from there.
2. Boundaries as Beauty
Another major shift? I’ve stopped saying yes when I mean no. I’ve learned to set boundaries not just with other people, but with my patterns—the part of me that overcommits, overexplains, and overperforms just to be liked. There’s a quiet but powerful beauty that comes with protecting your energy and trusting your instincts. It’s not about being rigid—it’s about being rooted.
This mental glow-up isn’t loud, but it builds a kind of inner confidence that can’t be faked. Working with subconscious reprogramming tools has helped me unlearn the belief that I have to earn rest or be everything to everyone. There’s real beauty in peace, and it often begins with simply honoring your limits.
3. Relational Health as the New Status Symbol
I used to measure success by how much I was accomplishing. Now, I measure it by how connected I feel. There’s nothing aspirational to me anymore about being booked and busy if it means being disconnected and depleted. In this season of my life, presence is the most valuable thing I can offer the people I love—and myself.
The more I’ve cultivated self-awareness through journaling, embodiment work, and future self activations, the more available I’ve become in my relationships. I listen more, I react less, and I care less about being impressive and more about being honest. It’s not perfect, but it’s real—and to me, that’s the truest sign of growth.
How I’m Practicing Presence Over Perfection
These days, my growth isn’t measured by how much I get done—it’s measured by how grounded I feel while doing it. I still catch myself slipping into old habits: rushing through conversations, mentally editing myself before I speak, trying to prove I’m good enough by how much I can juggle. But now, there’s a pause. A breath. A space between the urge to perform and the choice to just be.
When I notice myself wanting to impress, I soften instead. When discomfort rises, I stay with it a little longer. I’ve begun asking questions I never used to consider: What do I need right now? Where am I abandoning myself? This isn’t always graceful—sometimes it looks like leaving a party early, canceling plans, or taking a moment alone in the bathroom to regroup. But each small decision to honor my inner experience builds a deeper trust in myself.
This version of me doesn’t need a filter. She needs rest. She needs rituals that restore instead of deplete. And she needs space—not to prove anything, but to exist fully, in all her nuance and complexity.
A Quiet Rebellion: Redefining the Glow-Up
For a long time, I believed becoming better meant becoming more—more polished, more productive, more impressive. But this season of my life has taught me that the real glow-up isn’t louder, shinier, or more put-together. It’s quieter. Softer. Internal. It’s the choice to prioritize peace over perfection, to feel good instead of just looking good.
Redefining the glow-up has been a rebellion. One where I no longer chase transformation to prove my worth, but instead, return to myself—over and over again—with compassion and care. If there’s a final photo, it lives in moments that can’t be captured: staying grounded during a hard conversation, trusting my intuition, and feeling safe in my own skin. And maybe that’s the point. The glow-up I’m after now doesn’t need to be seen. It only needs to be felt.
